If you’ve landed on this page, chances are you’re looking for answers. Maybe you’ve tried everything, or maybe you’re bracing yourself for a conversation you’d rather not have. Or you don’t know how to give feedback to a toxic worker about their behavior. Either way, we see you. Dealing with toxic workers isn’t just frustrating. It’s draining.
We all love to talk about nurturing top performers, creating positive work environments, and celebrating workplace culture wins. And yes, that matters. But ignoring toxicity? That’s a mistake you can’t afford to make.
Toxic workers don’t just make work frustrating. They cost companies money, morale, and talent. According to SHRM, 32.4% of employees who quit in 2024 cited a toxic or negative work environment as the reason. On top of that, workplace toxicity contributes to $16 billion in annual employee healthcare costs.
You’re stuck between leadership that doesn’t want to address the issue and employees who are desperate for change. It’s exhausting. But with the right tools, you and your team can push back and reclaim a healthier work environment.
Giving Feedback to a Toxic Worker
Here’s how you can help without making the situation worse:
1. Use Descriptive, Not Evaluative, Language
People who exhibit toxic behaviors thrive on defensiveness. When feedback feels like a personal attack, they shut down or lash out.
You don’t have to say, “You’re always so rude in meetings,” which is scary for you and not useful for them. Use descriptive language instead, such as: “In today’s meeting, when you interrupted me, I felt unheard. Do you have a minute to talk?” This keeps the conversation factual and less confrontational, making it harder for them to deflect.
2. Encourage the SBI Model (Situation-Behavior-Impact)
You know that structured feedback works best. The SBI Model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, helps employees focus on facts rather than emotions. For example:
- Situation: “In our project discussion last Tuesday…”
- Behavior: “You raised your voice when I suggested an alternative approach.”
- Impact: “This made me feel undervalued and reluctant to share future ideas.”
This approach helps employees keep their feedback concise, objective, and harder to argue against.
3. Teach Employees to Set Boundaries
Some behaviors, like persistent negativity or gossiping, may not change through feedback alone. Encourage employees to set clear boundaries: “I prefer to focus on solutions rather than discussing colleagues,” or “I’m open to feedback if it’s delivered respectfully.” Establishing boundaries helps manage interactions and reduces the toxic coworker’s influence.
The more often you and the team respond like this, the harder it is for the individual to ignore – they’ll have to make change to get through their work day.
4. Coach Employees to Pick the Right Time and Place
You may have seen it happen: An employee finally works up the courage to confront a toxic coworker… in the middle of a heated email thread or a group meeting. Disaster. Timing and setting matter. Encourage employees to address issues privately, when both parties are calm, and in a neutral space where neither feels ambushed. For example, suggesting a one-on-one meeting in a quiet conference room after work hours.
5. Give Employees HR as a Backup Plan
Sometimes, direct feedback isn’t safe or feasible. Or it’s been given several times with no improvement in sight. Make it clear that HR is a resource, not a last resort. Employees should feel confident documenting incidents and escalating concerns without fear of retaliation. Reinforce that addressing toxic behaviors consistently and fairly is a priority.
Learn More Ways to Give Feedback to a Toxic Worker
HR professionals shouldn’t have to play referee between employees who just want to work and those who thrive on creating chaos. You deserve better. Your team deserves better. And you have more power than you think.
That’s exactly why we’re hosting “Speak Up, Step Up: Fostering a Workplace Where Feedback Fuels Change.” This FREE webinar on April 2nd at 10 AM PT (with 1 SHRM PDC) is designed to equip you with actionable strategies to create a workplace culture where feedback actually drives change.
Register now and take the first step toward reclaiming a healthier, more productive workplace.
The post 5 Ways to Give Feedback to a Toxic Worker About Their Toxic Behavior appeared first on Civility Partners.
“We are committed to helping your organization meet its goals by partnering with you to develop and deliver systemic solutions to negative workplace behaviors. We will partner with you to build a positive and healthy work environment so your employees can thrive.
We don’t focus on the corrective actions involving eradication of problems and negativity, we focus on finding solutions that create a safe and civil workplace – and there’s a difference. Focusing on solutions creates preventative and sustainable change.
Negative and aggressive workplace behaviors are systemic. In order to effectively remove them, holistic and system-wide solutions that are tailored to your organization and focused on prevention, not correction, are required.”
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